Managing Emotions in High Charge Situations
All of us have been through high emotional states in life when we must have got angry, upset, etc.
So what happens to us when we get angry?
A train of negative thoughts gets flushed in our mind from past memories when any person gets in the storm of anger/ strong negative emotions.
As entrepreneurs and leaders, it’s very important to manage ourselves in high emotional states in an efficient way to ensure we don’t speak anything or do anything or take any decision that we may regret later.
So, what can we do?
There are 3 levels to manage our emotions.
- Before an emotional outburst
- During an emotional outburst
- After an emotional outburst
Level 1: How to manage our emotions before an emotional outburst?
I am not going to touch level 1 in this article as it requires a deep exercise of diffusing your triggers.
But in a nutshell, it’s about identifying your triggers (buttons) and transforming the narrative from a disempowering to an empowering one. It’s a simple but very powerful exercise to diffuse your emotional triggers.
It’s a good 1.5 hour deep exercise that I conduct for entrepreneurs in the Actionpreneur Eco-system (generally once a year). We did this exercise in July 2023 when we invested good time on building high emotional resilience and mental toughness. We devoted our July 2023 month to become Captain Cool in our life like MS Dhoni, who is known for keeping his cool because of his high emotional resilience.
Let me go to Level 2 – How to manage emotions during an emotional outburst?
Whenever we are triggered emotionally, a cyclone of negative memories emerges in our consciousness / awareness. At that point of time, any wisdom just does not help.
So, what to do then? Think about it? ðŸ§
I am not sharing answer right away. Think for 10 seconds at least before you see the answers. ⌛
At such point of time, only keep one thing in mind – STOP.
You read it right. Simply stop. DON’T do anything. This is because you are in the spell of anger or upset and anything that you say or do – would mostly be negative.
Most of times, we all have regretted saying nasty things when we are in the spell of negative emotions.
Just find a way to step out of the situation and create distance with your thoughts and calm your mind.
Next step is to create distance with your thoughts. Here, we have created a simple acrynoym to remember the hack. i.e. DDD.
DDD – Drink water, take Deep breath and Distract yourself.
Why does this help?
Let’s make it more like a quiz – so that you can test your own intelligence 😃
Give 10 seconds to think for each answer and test your answers ⌛ ⌛ ⌛
Deep breathing triggers the body’s relaxation response. When you take slow, deep breaths, it signals to your body that you are safe, leading to a reduction in the production of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.
This helps to lower your heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension, promoting a sense of calmness.
Engaging in the act of drinking water provides a sensory distraction that helps to redirect focus away from overwhelming emotions.
By paying attention to the sensation of the water as you drink, the taste, and the feeling of swallowing, you momentarily shift your attention to the present moment, providing a break from distressing thoughts or emotions.
When you’re feeling angry, your attention is often fixated on the source of your anger, which can intensify the emotional response.
By engaging in a distracting activity like watching content, you redirect your focus away from the triggering event.
Watching content that is entertaining, light-hearted, or humorous can evoke positive emotions and create a contrast to the anger you’re experiencing.
Now you are clearly aware about why DDD is the simplest way to distance your thoughts.
But what do you do next?
You haven’t processed your emotions yet. Many of us have become experts in bottling up our own emotions and that’s not healthy for mind and body both.
We need to find a way to release/ vent out our emotions in a healthy way.
Level 3. What to do after an emotional outburst?
We need to find a way to vent out our emotions. There are many ways to vent out. I am sharing 5 ways out of which top 2 are my favourites. All of us are different and therefore we all may choose different ways to vent out our emotions.
Talk to someone: This helps when you can share your emotions with people who can provide non-judgmental and empathetic listening (in a private setting). This can be a close friend, family member, therapist, or mentor who can offer support and validation without trying to fix the problem or offering unsolicited advice, unless explicitly requested.
Upset Journalling: This is one of the safest and most constructive way to gain control on your emotions. Entire model has been shared here on link below. This is my favourite method of venting out as it not only helps me to calm down but also gives me 360-degree view of the entire situation and helps me resolve the situation in the most effective manner. It’s not just venting out but also resolution model at the level of your mind.
Upset Journalling Framework (Word Document)
Engage in physical activity: Channel your emotions into physical movement. Physical activity helps release tension and can provide a sense of catharsis. Exercise, dance, or going for a run.
Find a solitary space: Spend time alone in a peaceful environment, go for a walk. Reflect, meditate, or engage in activities that bring you solace, such as taking a bath, listening to calming music, or spending time in nature.
Engage in hobbies or activities you enjoy: Participate in activities that bring you joy and allow you to shift your focus from negative emotions. Engaging in hobbies or pursuing interests can provide a sense of fulfillment and distraction.
Trust above read has been helpful to you.
Wishing you a great life ahead.
Thanks for reading.Â
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